I just finished reading an awesome book, Choosing to See by Mary Beth Chapman. She shares the heart wrenching story of the death of their 5 year old daughter and her journey of faith in their tragedy. I would highly recommend this book! But I've been really processing one aspect that she touches on and applying it to my own journey. And that comes down to either it's all true, or it's not. I believe that God is sovereign over ALL things. His guiding hand is in every situation. But it is also so easy for me to think, God where are you? Why are you not fixing this? Why, why, why, why, why?!??!?!? If God is real, and really there, then this would never have happened...right?! So does that mean that God wasn't in this? Does that mean that these choices that others made were out of God's control? I have had to face the truth...
Do I believe that God is sovereign over all or do I not?
If not, then I'm not believing in the God of the Bible - and what then does that mean?! I can't pick and choose what parts of God & the Bible I want to follow and what parts I don't really like, so I'll pretend that doesn't apply to me. Either it's all true...or it's not. And I believe that it is all true! Every word is true! That means God knew this was going to happen to me before the world even existed. He knew thousands of years ago that Kari Kapitz was going to have her heart broken and life as she knew it was going to be turned upside down in 2010. He has always been there, he was right there every time my I made a poor choice, he was right there every time Jon made a poor choice, he's there on the bad days and he's there on the ok days. He is right here in the middle of all of the decisions that others are making at this very moment. And he is going to remain in the middle of my entire future! There is nothing that can happen - that wasn't already part of God's plan. None of us will live one day longer than we are suppose to, none of us will go through something that was not predestined before the beginning of time. The world and our lives are full of wrongs, injustice, suffering and pain and things that just can't make sense. It stinks! But either you are going to grab on to the truth or you are going to run away and deny the truth. And it's a process. Do you have any idea how many times in a day I have to stop and run to God and hear "Wait Kari! Breathe! God is in this! Don't panic and freak out! GOD IS IN THIS!" But God - how do I do this next hour? By trusting Him and by knowing that He is in control of everything - even the bad things. Because all things happen for the purpose of bringing God all the glory. And I don't just believe that it's all true - I know it is all true. Knowing the truth does not make it easy or hurt less, but it gives me hope. Because God is my hope.
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Yes, Kari, our lives are all preplanned before we were even conceived in our mothers womb. We never know what He has in store for us from one day to the next. That is why I think we need to cherish every day He gives us and grasp every precious moment here on earth with our loved ones. Pour your love on those little ones and keep God in your eyes.You are on the right track~~Tough as it may seem some days~~Lean on Him~~
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